tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post3708336318369217135..comments2023-07-06T07:57:52.182-07:00Comments on The Road Lester Traveled: Am I My Brother's Keeper?cathouse terihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02547258612468286876noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-47660001094090881592009-06-13T22:05:10.623-07:002009-06-13T22:05:10.623-07:00What a great post! I am a mom who put on a good 30...What a great post! I am a mom who put on a good 30 pounds after being with my husband for 24 years and having 3 kids. I have recently begun exercising a lot, for my own health and sanity, and I am really enjoying it. Shockingly, my husband, who always used to say he would divorce me if I "got fat" is not quite sure how he feels about the weight loss. He is not a bit jealous; he just got used to liking me how I was. He said to me the other day, "You look great, but I'm used to having two handfuls of ass, and now I only have one." That made me laugh.Sexy PTA Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16290640258017498512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-79817407723375853862008-11-05T23:18:00.000-08:002008-11-05T23:18:00.000-08:00I love this post! ;)On the subject, I have a very ...I love this post! ;)<BR/><BR/>On the subject, I have a very easy 'answer'.. just think to yourself: <BR/><BR/>"Who am I to deserve a perfect partner?"<BR/><BR/>Because 'we' all want a perfect spouse, yet none of us are perfect ourselves. Seems a bit unfair, doesn't it?<BR/><BR/>Greetings from the netherlands!Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06021892170202864510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-40484406468891051082008-10-07T08:46:00.000-07:002008-10-07T08:46:00.000-07:00"When you consider a person who is constantly crit..."When you consider a person who is constantly critical of their mate, it is likely they are overly critical of themselves. And they are fucking pissed off that their mate is comfortable with their flaws! How dare they! I walk in misery, constantly striving for unattainable perfection, and you just lie there sleeping well through the night? Why aren’t you up, trying to improve yourself? Or at least be up thinking about your imperfections and how you SHOULD be improving yourself?"<BR/><BR/>Oh hell. That used to be me. So glad it is not anymore. Excellent, thought provoking post.Brunhildahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01927302567837372316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-69547085986141793632008-10-05T18:51:00.000-07:002008-10-05T18:51:00.000-07:00My wife rejoined Weight Watchers which puts pressu...My wife rejoined Weight Watchers which puts pressure on me to lose some weight as well. The key is to be supportive without being critical.yellojkthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09592683505688819187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-3803173098363403352008-10-03T05:46:00.000-07:002008-10-03T05:46:00.000-07:00My weight? I'm in shape, round is a shape right?My weight? I'm in shape, round is a shape right?Dooziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14971254752562678591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-60515998420576799592008-10-02T23:30:00.000-07:002008-10-02T23:30:00.000-07:00of course the really great thing about having conv...of course the really great thing about having conversations with your partner(s) about what he/she/they can and cannot accept is that you know exactly what you need to do when you'd rather kiss them goodbye.wanderlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01040744396586075951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-18240823636629388552008-10-02T18:37:00.000-07:002008-10-02T18:37:00.000-07:00amen, you sooooo get it (and so does your dad).amen, you sooooo get it (and so does your dad).Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16187989483280210008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-69236392195108161402008-10-02T06:23:00.000-07:002008-10-02T06:23:00.000-07:00VI: Marriage is a fucking nightmare! ;)One Man: ...VI: Marriage is a fucking nightmare! ;)<BR/><BR/>One Man: I'm not sure I'm familiar with the "budge" thing, unless you are referring to compromise. I'm not much into that either. I call it the c-word.<BR/><BR/>At any rate, I think one of the most important things about a relationship is to know your own self and be honest about that. To your own self! So, yeah... if you can't accept certain things, then it only makes sense not to choose someone (or choose a situation) where you might find yourself having to accept those things. <BR/><BR/>So if you can't do the budge thing, then yeah... don't get married! ;)cathouse terihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02547258612468286876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-40497046707868072952008-10-02T05:29:00.000-07:002008-10-02T05:29:00.000-07:00I try to love people for who they are and not what...I try to love people for who they are and not what they look like. I have to say that I am not attracted to a stomach, but now that I have a stomach, who am I to judge? Seeing as i want to be loved for me, not what I look like, shouldn't I be willing to do the same?<BR/><BR/>Yeah, I should be, but i can't. Sue me! I can't do the budge thing. Now if I married you and you got the budge afterwards, then I;d like to think it wouldn't be as much of a big deal, because when I marry (I ain't never gonna marry), it will be for the love of that person.One Man’s Opinionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10369070920453105981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-46730094318706758612008-10-01T10:59:00.000-07:002008-10-01T10:59:00.000-07:00You are correct - its more of 'confirming I made a...You are correct - its more of 'confirming I made a good choice' thing vs. a dealbreaker thing. And like I said, the mind/spirit aging is more important anyway, since we guys get saggy as we age too, not just the girls!<BR/><BR/>But an effort to take care of one's self is appreciated also, and can be perceived as one way to show love to your chosen spouse/SO, vs. a (perceived) attitude of 'suck it, I don't care so you shouldn't care'. I think there is a difference, but it must be handled maturely by both parties to work.<BR/><BR/>Marriage is hard...villageidiothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704375956350816383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-9902002269167536452008-09-29T18:20:00.000-07:002008-09-29T18:20:00.000-07:00It does sound somewhat sensible to look at the way...It does sound somewhat sensible to look at the way the women in a family age, in order to gauge how your sweetheart might do so. On the other hand, is this a serious consideration? Does a man date a woman until he meets her mother, and then it's a deal-breaker that her mother didn't age gracefully? I'll wager not.cathouse terihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02547258612468286876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-17861000678822484712008-09-29T14:19:00.000-07:002008-09-29T14:19:00.000-07:00"Also, how do you know if someone will age gracefu..."Also, how do you know if someone will age gracefully?"<BR/><BR/>I'll try: use the age-old adage and look at the mom. Its not 100%, but pretty close. <BR/><BR/>But I also agree that its more important how someone ages gracefully in mind and spirit than in body - at least for me. But then I used the above trick and am very satisfied there too....villageidiothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704375956350816383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-31874821461455302052008-09-29T10:22:00.000-07:002008-09-29T10:22:00.000-07:00It's interesting this concept of mating forever. ...It's interesting this concept of mating forever. If you are religious it's all laid out for you that this is the right thing to do. If you are not, then who is to say that is the right thing? In the natural world, it's a mix of animals that do and animals that do not. It seems to work for both. I can see lots of reasons why it would be foolish to stick together. Changes in interests or philosophies is a big one. Physical is so superficial; it's just one of a myriad of lifelong things. I'm not going to place my own judgements here other than to say that I haven't seen "one size fits all" apply well to much of anything. If you subscribe to marriage then that's fine but the reality is that there are going to be divorces and sometimes it's the best thing given the circumstances. To say absolutely not is just not realistic.Ed & Jeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00730956006290504616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-81319650572888800532008-09-29T09:40:00.000-07:002008-09-29T09:40:00.000-07:00Okay i am sooo not a male...wait...checks myself n...Okay i am sooo not a male...wait...checks myself nope not male....<BR/><BR/>i am no where near my married weight BUT my husband and I have sex like we are the young versions of ourselves actually the sex is better now than it was then...(I know not the complete question you asked but it seems everything comes back to physical attraction)<BR/><BR/>Ima ask him about this-because I swear he loves me more than he did yesterday-I am not a trophy i am a wife a lover a best friend a companion and a mother just because I am a few LBS more than when we met should have no impact just my humble opinion...and i know opinions are like....Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13755834803574964576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-36720931667486597842008-09-29T08:00:00.000-07:002008-09-29T08:00:00.000-07:00Very interesting topic. Yes, bottom line it is all...Very interesting topic. Yes, bottom line it is all about responsibily choosing one's mate, being conscious, being aware. Compatibility in thought, behavior, ethics and values is essential - both over the short and long term. And that applies to weight and health and exercise and aging too.Constancehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02702046097986873803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-17927486151910403202008-09-29T07:46:00.000-07:002008-09-29T07:46:00.000-07:00WIXY: Yes, it is important for a person to be con...WIXY: Yes, it is important for a person to be concerned about their health, as well as their appearance. But no one else should press that upon you.<BR/><BR/>Wanderling: I disagree with the idea that you are bound by what he finds physically attractive. Which is why this argument exists. Many agree with you. :)cathouse terihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02547258612468286876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-79584058779819856232008-09-29T07:22:00.000-07:002008-09-29T07:22:00.000-07:00btw, your post was greatly insightful, as always, ...btw, your post was greatly insightful, as always, you start the most interesting conversations.wanderlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01040744396586075951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-36624647103987831672008-09-29T07:13:00.000-07:002008-09-29T07:13:00.000-07:00Ms Teri, I don't think it makes any difference whe...Ms Teri, I don't think it makes any difference whether or not I've validated his potential lack of desire through having the conversation for ultimately, I'm bound by what he finds visually attractive, so words really have no significance in this area. I really think it is better to know where the boundaries are. We all have them.wanderlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01040744396586075951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-77834576919905820382008-09-29T07:11:00.000-07:002008-09-29T07:11:00.000-07:00I have had a lifelong battle of the bulge and have...I have had a lifelong battle of the bulge and have learned what people use as "code" to try to disguise their rude comments. Only time my wife mentions my weight is when she's concerned for my health.<BR/><BR/>And in the past thirty years, as a result of child bearing and genetics, my wife is not the petite size that she was when I met her. This makes no difference since I didn't marry her to be a trophy wife. We married because we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with each other, not with Barbie and Ken. We have had struggles, but it's never been with a weight issue.<BR/><BR/>And as a result of all this, the friends I make aren't those who are trying to hang on with all they got to their youthful good looks, but those who accept what comes by nature.<BR/><BR/>And for the record, I worry about my weight, but this for the benefit of health. If it was for vanity's sake, I would also be spending a fortune on Just For Men ;)Cliffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08322086604599640345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-90175768852189914142008-09-29T05:58:00.000-07:002008-09-29T05:58:00.000-07:00Yes, Bella. It does make you think. And that's r...Yes, Bella. It does make you think. And that's really what it's all about, isn't it? Sometimes I don't think we really think about what we are saying. So even if the subject doesn't get settled one way or the other for everyone (or anyone) I just hope it makes people think. ;)cathouse terihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02547258612468286876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-66242054641056102022008-09-28T18:52:00.000-07:002008-09-28T18:52:00.000-07:00I love this post Teri! It really, really makes you...I love this post Teri! It really, really makes you think!<BR/><BR/>So hard to settle though, isn't it?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-64030343763427602008-09-28T05:04:00.000-07:002008-09-28T05:04:00.000-07:00Wanderling: First of all, by asking him that ques...Wanderling: First of all, by asking him that question, you validated his right to lose attraction, based on weight gain. So that wasn't wise. Now you're kind of bound by it. Which is fine, if you feel you can comply. I feel that sort of question is in line with shuffling the "if" deck, which I find to be a useless activity. <BR/><BR/>Here, I will relate a funny "what if" that a friend of mine posed to her husband. She had cancer and asked him, "Honey, what if the only way to save me were to put my brain into someone else's body, but that someone was a man. Would you still love me?" He said, "Yes, but it would put a great STRAIN on our relationship!" <BR/><BR/>I don't answer questions that don't make any sense, and I certainly don't ask questions that I don't want the answer to!<BR/><BR/>But all of that aside, I'm sure your boyfriend has no idea how much weight you could comfortably gain in his estimation. I'm not sure how old he is, but his answer is no doubt based on his level of experience and his level of maturity. I mean, you could ask him if he would still be attracted to you if you lost both legs in an accident. Or if you lost both breasts to cancer and all your hair to chemo and your belly became distended due to complications related to the cancer. These are all questions he is nowhere near capable of answering. On the other hand, a man who even considers an answer other than, "You are perfect and will always be perfect to me," is being just plain stupid. ;)<BR/><BR/>By the way, if men went around choosing women based on whether or not they could pick them up, then many men would find themselves alone! Or they could continue to date cheerleaders all their lives.<BR/><BR/>Men and women have plans about their ideal partners. Then they grow up.<BR/><BR/>I will be writing a second part to this post elaborating a little more on this subject, so stay tuned!cathouse terihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02547258612468286876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-4797528534456409212008-09-27T17:43:00.000-07:002008-09-27T17:43:00.000-07:00...guys also consider a woman's weight in terms of......guys also consider a woman's weight in terms of the "can I lift and hold her up?" question...just saying.wanderlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01040744396586075951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-90309715840996498692008-09-27T17:30:00.000-07:002008-09-27T17:30:00.000-07:00this definitely goes both ways, I've never eated d...this definitely goes both ways, I've never eated dated a heavy guy, but it's not something I've ever consciously thought about until reading your post Ms Teri. I asked my beau the other day how heavy I could get before he lost sexual interest in me, he told me I was currently perfect (not trying to be arrogant here, I don't think he's right), and that I could gain about 6 kilos, but anymore than that and he'd start to lose attraction. I laughed and said, "it's good to know just how fat I can get, where are the chocolate biscuits?" and we laughed, but inside I also though to myself, what about when/if I fall pregnant and put on more than 6 kilos...is he going to then go and get his freak on with someone else?wanderlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01040744396586075951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7804360.post-49073971899084838892008-09-27T15:59:00.000-07:002008-09-27T15:59:00.000-07:00Anno: So very true. Nothing worse than having so...Anno: So very true. Nothing worse than having someone say, "Do you really think you NEED that?" :)cathouse terihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02547258612468286876noreply@blogger.com