Epitaph

They say there is beefcake
For every fine lassie.
But only if you promise
To keep your fine chassis!

While his member is throbbing
To enter a beauty,
(He doesn’t care which,
Only knows it’s his duty!)

So, I’m leaving the men, to their own discredit…
And what of my cake? I already et it!

For the "short story" people:

I met a man one day, while walking at the park. When I was home teaching the children, the family would go to the park daily to walk, for exercise. We would sometimes meet people who had started a routine of the same. One day, we met a man there who chose to walk with me. We walked several times around (it was about a quarter of a mile track), which gave us plenty of time to talk. The concept of aerobic exercise is to get your heart rate at a level that is ideal for cardiovascular benefit. A good rule of thumb is to be sure that while you are working your heart, you are still able to comfortably hold a conversation. So walking and talking is a good plan. Not that I had a chance to find out if this rule of thumb was working for me, personally, as this man was doing all the talking. And I mean the entire time. He wasn’t boring or tedious. The things he said were interesting. He was intelligent and articulate and humorous. All the things one would want in a speaker. He had been many places and had done many things, which gave him plenty of interesting stories to tell. And he told them well. But in truth, the largest sentence I said during our walk was, “uh huh.” At the end of the walk he went up to my husband and said these very words, “You have a very interesting wife! You should spend more time walking with her!” Just goes to show ya… if you are interested in a person, they think you’re interesting.

Skeleton Woman

There is a story told in folklore, set in Alaska. It is of a man who went fishing one day. He chose to fish in a secluded little cove which didn’t seem to be too often visited by other local fishermen. In fact, they never visited it. For they all knew the story. The story of a girl who fell in love with a boy from a tribe other than her own… many, many, many moons ago. And not just another tribe, but one at odds with hers. Her father forbade them to marry, but she snuck off in secret to do that very thing. Her father apprehended her in the midst of her escape and he took her and threw her off the cliff into that secluded little cove, to her death. The people had passed this story down through the generations, and no fisherman was to ever draw life from that water, as it was thought to be full of the evil of that terrible event. This poor fisherman knew it not. He didn’t have his line in the water long when he felt a great tug. Oh my! This had to be a big one! As he fought with the creature to bring it to the surface, his mind wandered to all the great riches this great catch would bring him. He had struggled for so many long and weary years. It would be great to have some relief. But as the creature came into view, he realized it was not a fish at all… it was a mass of bones and hair… and a skull! And it seemed the eyes of that skull were looking right at him! He panicked. He set his pole down in the boat and immediately rowed to shore, looking back to be sure that the monster was gone. But it wasn’t, as it was still attached to his pole! But, as it is with panic, he didn’t realize this. He just frantically rowed to shore, seeing behind him the dreaded thing bouncing on the water, appearing to chase him. Once on shore, he grabbed his pole and ran for home… again, looking over his shoulder to find that he was still being chased! He dove into the darkness of the little cave he called home and sat there panting, hoping the ordeal was over. He lit a candle and in the dim light, saw that the thing he had hooked was amassed in a pile in the corner. The soft light softened his fears and he approached and began to untangle the mess. He realized these were the bones of a woman and, after untangling her, he wrapped her in a warm fur and went to lie down on his bed to sleep. During his sleep, a tear escaped from his eye. She approached him and drank up the tear, drawing some life from it. She then put her hand on his chest and began singing a song to the beat of his heart. As she sang, all of her sinews and flesh and skin began to recover her body. And when she and the song were complete, she crawled under the covers and she and the man warmed one another. They warmed one another heart and body and soul for the rest of their lives.

(Anyone care to try to interpret that one?)

Footnote from Teri:
It’s not that we really think men are stupid. We were all created as intelligent beings, men and women. It’s just that when a man doesn’t take the time to figure a woman out (or "untangle her," if you will), he’s sorta shooting himself in the foot. And that’s stupid.

We are doomed...

In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.
-- Konrad Adenauer