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David, your wish is my command. (Although I have no idea how someone could say that I don't post enough hot women on here!)
Now... on to my real message, prompted at the request of The Exceptional One who has been drawing participants for a theme-based trilogy at her place.
It’s unfortunate that we don’t have several English words to describe the different types of love as the Greeks do. And even then, it’s hard to really put your finger on exactly what THOSE words mean. Since I don’t speak Greek, I am hardly an expert. But here’s my too brief summary:
1. Storge ~ It means “affection” in modern Greek. This is natural affection, such as that experienced by parents for their children.
2. Agape ~ This is the modern day Greek word for love in the sense of general affection felt for those you especially esteem. It’s a big love. The kind that gives that warm, surrounding feeling of comfort.
3. Philia ~ This is clean, friendly love. The type of love that loyalty springs from. It promotes equality and unity.
4. Eros ~ Passionate love. This is the love of most especial appreciation. The love of beautiful things. The things that make us stir inside. For most of us, this is our favorite. Only because it can be so strong at times. But so can the others. And not one of these types of love is more valuable than the others.
This thing ~ LOVE ~ is really all that matters. It’s really what we are all spinning our wheels looking for. Even though it’s actually all around us. (Man! I love that movie!)
And if love were something to find then there are a number of us who certainly should have found it! The fact that the seekers have not found is not for lack of trying.
But I’m afraid I must call this sort of seeking to be living chiefly from the ego.
Clarissa Pinkola-Estes says:
"Three things distinguish living from the soul versus living from the ego only. They are: the ability to sense and learn new ways, the tenacity to ride a rough road and the patience to learn deep love over time." ~ Women Who Run with the Wolves
Learning deep love. Whatever does that mean? Well, anything with the word “deep” in it, is nothing to take lightly. Or shallowly. :)
But even on the shallow level, I think we could safely say that love is something to learn.
Clarissa speaks in her book about the traps we find ourselves stumbling into. Some of these traps were haplessly laid by our own selves. We can spend years caught in them. And even when we get out of them, we are so comfortable with their snares, we stumble into them yet again and again. We look for them! We want them!
But there comes a time when you must draw into yourself. Recover your soul. Remember yourself. Own your own heart. And even there, you can find the comfortable trap. The temptation to stay there becomes strong. But that is where we stop feeding the soul, and start feeding the ego. The light must be sent out again in order for it to remain a living thing.
If only love were a static and tangible thing. I could find it, wrap it up, put a bow on it and set it on the shelf. When I find myself needing it, I could go to the shelf and take hold of it. Turn it around in my hands. Trace it with my fingers. And when I think I’ve had enough, I could put it back where it would wait for me to come another day.
This is what I think we often do with one another. We want love to live inside of the box of another human. And then we want that human to sit right where we left them. All pretty with a bow on them.
But love is not like this. It won’t live in a box. It requires nurturing attention. And just when we think we know the kind of attention it needs, it changes!
Love is a task of patience. The patience to learn deep love over time. And where does patience come from? The ability to sense and learn new ways and the tenacity to ride a rough road.
I hate it when she’s right.
See the posts on Skeleton Woman and Skeleton Woman Defined
for more of my feeble attempts at relating Clarissa’s genius of a mind.
And this ~ from Bernie (song available on my playlist at the sidebar):
Baby you're missing something in the air
I got a name but it don't matter
What's going on, it's cold in here
You have a life but it's torn and tattered
Maybe you're losing pieces of your heart
You have a world but it stopped turning
You lose the day and gain the dark
Love was a fire but it stopped burning
Spare your heart, save your soul
Don't drag your love across the coals
Find your feet and your fortune can be told
Release, relax, let go
And hey now let's recover your soul
Lazy old sunset sinking like a tear
Alone at night in a losing battle
That perfect world is never clear
You have to fight for the things that matter
Thank Heaven for Little Girls
... you gotta try and stay positive because life will go on remember? Fortunately, I have my daughter around to help me. She doesn't really know it but I talk to her for hours while she sleeps. It's kinda my therapy. But there's also when she's awake, we hang out and play and that's where the real magic happens. She reminds me of all the good things in this world, the reasons to be thankful you're alive and breathing, to be thankful for hugs and kisses and laughter. So it's getting better with time.
Nice Guys Finish Last
It always seems like no matter how kind you can be in life, people still screw you over without even thinking about it. But you know what, when I'm dead and gone I want people to remember who I was as a person. How giving I was, how thoughtful I was, how much I cared, how forgiving I was and overall I want people to think of me as an amazing person. Now I'm not saying that everyone will think that because I'm not the best person out there, but I am the best I can be. So people who are ass holes in this world might seem to get ahead in life. They get the girl, the job, the car. But to me all that means nothin. What really matters is the impact you have on people's lives. So my saying is "nice guys finish last...but they have the greatest endings." Personally, I would rather have that being said about me than the so called "achievements" I had in life by walking all over people. Life's not about how far you get but the impact you leave on the people you were around throughout your life.
My Mamma Kitty. I just read your blog Where Have All The Young Girls Gone. I think it's really cool that you mention me in it.
It was all you that helped me make my decision. I never felt pressured or judged by you. You gave me all options and supported me with whatever I decided. (like any mother should). I remember the day you came to my rescue like it was yesterday. My mother and Suzanne kidnapped me taking me to Park City to talk me out of getting an abortion. I felt horrible having to tell my mother that I was pregnant. You, with no questions asked drove up to Park City and took me out to dinner. Told me your story of getting pregnant young and how you felt and your fears. It is the greatest feeling in the world when you (a parent) opened up to your child and tell all because you have been there too. You made me feel so much better, so calm. I knew then what I wanted to do. That night you gave me a necklace, of a gold heart. It was your heart, it symbolized how much you loved me and how you would always be there for me. I wore it for years and still have it. Everytime I see it, I think of that night and how much you saved me.
I loved the movie Juno but for at least a week I was a little off. It was all too real for me and when I saw it, I had Abby with me so that made it even more off-putting. It was weird looking at Juno being 16 and pregnant and saying to myself look how young she looks. And then saying to myself oh my gosh, I looked that young. Watching Juno go get the abortion and backing out. Telling her parents.... Then the process of adopting the child out. In the end when everything starts going wrong and she breaks down and cries. I could feel that same ache in my heart it was so strong. Your heart hurts so bad and you feel it breaking and tearing apart. From that moment on you would never be the same.
I love you Mamma Kitty thank you for being such a gift in my life.