Okay, Here's The Thing...

I have strong feelings about pornography. Feelings about it's detrimental effects on men. In short, I believe indulgence in porn hinders him from becoming sexually mature. But I'm not a snob. I don't FREAK OUT about porn, or porn shops. Or if I see it on tv. In fact, about six months ago, I applied for a job at a sex shop. I think sexual freedom and growth is a great thing.

So, I was just today wondering, "How does my current boyfriend feel about porn? Does he spend his time watching porn?" Well first of all, he works A LOT and he drives A LOT and almost every spare moment is spent either sleeping or eating or sexing (that's my part.. hee) ~ and second of all, I asked him about an email I sent him about two months ago and he said, "I don't remember the last time I was online." (Not that I think porn is only available online.)

We met online. We first chatted on the phone for a week or two before meeting in person. I remember I would just ramble and ramble about what I thought about things and such. He is a man mostly of few words, but he was responsive and would stay on the phone a long time. I do recall bringing up the subject of porn and even asking how he felt about it. BUT, on the day we met, I was so overwhelmed by his... well here is where I lose it. I can't even think of the word for it. I even told him that day, "I don't usually date guys who are prettier than I am." He's just so... oh gosh... well he's like a viking that stepped out of some ancient battlefield. He's just so... (honestly, right now I'm weak just thinking about him) Well, anyway, ever since that day, I've been speechless. And I don't recall anything we talked about before we met or anything! My only hope is that this will wear off and I'll come to my senses! Or maybe my hope is that it won't! :)


Wolfe said...

What is porn?

If I'm married, and travelling, is a picture of my putative wife in sexy lingerie (to me at least, and probably to her) pornography?

Is a picture of her face pornography?

Now here comes the hard (no pun intended) part. Is a picture of another woman that reminds me of her pornography? Even if I never 'lust after the other woman in my heart' ?

The wild-west open free-market on porn is deeply disturbing. If any man disagrees, ask him if he'd be so happy if his daughter were the one posing. If he's over 30, he'll get the point.

That said, I'm not sure you're right here, Teri. ("Hinders him from being sexually mature").

I think it's a wash. No pun intended.


cathouse teri said...

What is porn:

Well, I'm sure there are many definitions of the word. But I'm going to go back to its origins and see if I can get a "sense" of what it means ~

Etymology: Greek pornographos, adjective, writing about prostitutes, from pornE prostitute + graphein to write; akin to Greek pernanai to sell, poros journey

Seems to have a theme of selling and promoting sex, but doesn't seem to imply within the marital union. I'd say the porn of today goes along with that.

I'm going to assume that your questions were rhetorical. Although I am wondering, how can one say that they look at a picture of another woman because it reminds him of his wife? I give a man a LOT of leash, but even I can't give him that much! :)

But I am most positive I am right that indulgence in pornography can very well hinder a man's sexual maturity. And that doesn't go for only a man. It hinders him the same as indulging in fast food would hinder one's physical maturity. (I suppose I'm using the word "maturity" inerchangeably with "health." And I don't think wrongly so.) Fast food won't harm you if taken in small doses. Pornography wouldn't either. So to follow the analogy, a young man almost thirsts after porn. Young men also have an almost exclusive diet of fast food, if left to their own devices. After a time, they realize that this is detrimental to their health. A young man should also realize that porn does the same thing to him. This should be the normal and healthy course of things. A young man might be living the wild life. A maturing young man has discovered that this is not a "way of life."

"There are caravans we follow
Drunken nights in dark hotels
When chances breathe between the silence
Where sex and love no longer gel

For each man in his time is Cain
Until he walks along the beach
And sees his future in the water
A long lost heart within his reach"

A man who is old (or at least old enough to know better) and still of the same mind as a young man is most surely halted in his growth.

Wolfe said...

Interesting and semi-persuasive statement.

I don't agree with "Although I am wondering, how can one say that they look at a picture of another woman because it reminds him of his wife? I give a man a LOT of leash, but even I can't give him that much!"

I don't.

I understand, dimly, why you find that unacceptable. Therein lies a division of the sexes.

cathouse teri said...

One of many, dear. One of many.