Melting Pot

A lot of things on my mind today. Posts and comments of late got me thinking. And yesterday's range of emotions made for a strangely calm and clear-thinking today. It's a bit like my post migraine sense. I never see things quite as well as at that time. Or maybe I should say quite as plainly.

As the news spreads about my youngest son's news of a child on the way, I get plenty of opinions tossed my way. (No doubt he does, too.) He's eighteen. The unanimous response is along the lines of, "Oh he has no idea what he's done to screw up his life now. Having a child will throw a wrench into his plans like none other!" (I guess I'm into hardware metaphors today.)

I consider myself a realist. But I'm a little too optimistic in some eyes to be considered a REAL realist. I think optimism is very realistic. After all, the sun does rise again every single day. I see no reason to take that for granted. It's a beautiful thing, and I count on it. In my darkest days, just knowing that has gotten me through many, many times.

Segue:
When I discovered I was pregnant with this same boy, I was devastated. Not only was my marriage in a wretched state, but I wasn't even sure if he was my husband's child! (I'm not going to bother explaining that.) I did not want this child. Every day I woke up disappointed that I had not had a miscarriage.

One day, while driving over a bridge, I thought, "I can just turn my wheel and drive over the edge and it will all be over. Easy." At that same moment, a song was playing on the radio. One I'd heard a million times. It's called "Signs." From the seventies. Just at that point, I heard, "I made up my own little sign. It said, 'Thank you Lord for thinkin 'bout me. I'm alive and doin fine!'" Hit me like a ton of bricks (hardware simile). I think I even said out loud. "What the hell am I thinking? I AM alive and doing fine!" From that moment on, I was over it. Brady was born and I was, of course, overwhelmed with love and appreciation for him. Just as I was with the others.

So back to Brady's pending fatherhood. We were talking about this negativity that's being tossed around. I swear, I think people want me to tell Brady every time I talk to him, "okay.. but don't forget... from now on.. your life sucks!" They are kinda disappointed that I'm not doing that! As my dad said on the subject, "It's gonna be whatever you make of it." Brady is made of strong stuff. He does better than roll with the punches, he fuckin hits back!

Now Brady wants to get a tattoo of that line in the song. :)

20 comments:

Neil said...

How does anyone know what the future really holds? I think it is much better to be optomistic about things -- it certainly helps make the good things more likely to happen.

Becka said...

i remember the day u found out...never a doubt in my mind that u were fine with it....and no doubt about it, that baby will have the most doting YAYA ever!

cathouse teri said...

YAYAs R US!

Rainypete said...

I like the fact that everyone sems to know how it will all play out. The ironic part is that most of the naysayers probably don't know too much about Brady do they? My friends were all doom and gloom when I told them I was breeding. Then again it may have been because I'm spreading my nasty genes all over the place instead of them being concerned for me.

Rainypete said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
cathouse teri said...

Hmm... I didn't know that authors could delete their comments! I'm gonna go around and delete my comments now, willy nilly!


rainypete: You are right, they often don't know Brady. Those who know him are well aware that he will overcome all obstacles and has no intention of doing anything but adoring that new baby.

Update: First ultrasound today!

(Don't ya love OB talk! Eek... really, I don't, but it IS my grandbaby!)

Miss 1999 said...

I agree with Neil here, we don't know what the future holds. 4 months ago, I had a stable home life, health insurance, and plenty of money to go around. In an instant, my world came crashing down.

It doesn't matter how well we plan, it's what we do with what we've got. Yeah, 18 is young to be having a child, but that doesn't mean that he won't be a good father, and succeed in everything he does. Best wishes to you all :0)

annie said...

I applaud you for not doing the naysaying bit with him. He's going to need all the support he can get, right?

Besides, if he ends up loving the baby as much as you love him, it will still be hard work -- but that baby will have something really special.

Maisha said...

rainypete,you killed me with that "breeding" comment.lol

this is an interesting post.i used to be miss goody-two-shoes;so judgemental of others and ready to point fingers.then i learnt my lessons.i am just glad to say i became a better person.

nothing in this world happens by mistake.there are no accidents.and what people need to learn to do is look at the positive side of things all the time.they are just looking at their own negativity brought by a similar situation or even how they would have felt if it had happened to them.relfection of their fears and uncertainties.what matters is that brady is happy.brady is strong.and he is "fuckin hitting back"!

i can imagine how excited you are about the new grandchild.goodluck and enjoy every sonogram!!!!!!:)

cathouse teri said...

Thanks for all the positive comments! I'll be sharing them with Brady. :)

Susiebadoozie said...

historically speaking, i have been a negative person, but am learning, that since one can't change events such as this, why be negative about it? does that help ANYONE?? you have to ask yourself, what good does it do to make comments like that? really. as IF we all made better choices? not.

next time someone says something negative about your sons news, just look at them as ask them if they did 100% of everything in their lives in the "proper" way? and then if they looked stumped, take that opportunity to punch them. and say "thats what YOU get" lol

Chana said...

i congratulate you in your coming grandchild..i congratulate your son..there are some people that wait to be married, have money in the bank and have the house and the van and still they miss the parenting thing completely. there are other's who winged it yet end up with wonderful children who are happy and well rounded. who is to say this is bad news at all? what a child needs most in the world is love. the family has the support and love from all that surround them, that is what is important. the rest, is not..

so congratulations and i hope the pregnancy goes well and must healthy. the labor as easy as can be and the life to come as happy and full of peace as God intended.

thank you for stopping by my blog. glad you like the squirrel, he is such a cutie..

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I cant imagine being a parent at 18..hell i am 31 and still think I am much too young:)

dont let nay sayers spread hurtful remarks on it...it is what it is and if anyone has a probelme with it, tell them to screw off:)

BarnGoddess said...

what a great post! The future is so uncertain, I never saw myself as a wife and never saw myself as a mother...but guess what, I am BOTH! Life is strange..

for bossy britches comment, good for you! I think there is NOTHING wrong with how you feel about being a parent. If its meant to happen, then it will...to hell with anyone who would bad mouth YOUR personal decision!

brian said...

Hi,

I saw your comments over at BG's place so I decided to mosey on by. I read back into some older posts. I don't have an opinion on your children and pending grandchild as I don't have children, but, I feel strongly that as a family it is your opinions that should count the most.

You are welcome to swing by my blogs if you would like, BG is my best friend.

BarnGoddess said...

awww blush, bri.

bri is pretty cool even tho he is a man ;)

I read back into some old posts and I liked what I read :)

Kuan Gung said...

"What you believe, you become" Buddha...time to believe in great things always...never put your happiness in the hands of others...best wishes and much happiness...it's not what they think...it's what you believe...

Maisha said...

why is it that people at blogcentral are so much nicer than the people surrounding us?or are we all a bunch of really nice people just looking for kindred spirits?i dont know...but i keep seeing glimpses of characters that make me smile everytime i visit blogger.com

Martini said...

I can't understand how people can say fatherhood ruins people's lives. What an awful thing to say, unless you're raising the spawn of Satan. But how often does that happen? Pretty much never.

starry nights said...

I dont want to sit back and judge another person or say how his life is going to be.Most parents do not intend their sons to be a father at 18, but sometimes these things do happen.He will learn and move on and I am sure he will make a great dad. many 18 year olds have been great parents. His life is not over, he will stick it out, continue his education the best way he can and life goes on.Just smile and be there for him.he is going to need you.

BTW..thanks for stopping by my blog and please do stop by again.