Cosmo Quizzes

Why do we take them? Are we trying to know ourselves via a women's magazine? And does it work? I'd love to hear from y'all on the subject.

Today, I received an email asking me to "click here" to find out whether or not I'm marriage material. I thought it would be fun to take the test and see how it lays that out. I quit on the third question. The first was regarding whether or not you think you are able to be monogamous. The second was asking what is most important to you in a relationship (great sex, similar life goals and um.... I don't remember the other choice). Now why was it that I couldn't choose both A and B? Anyway, question three was "Why do you want to get married?" Huh? *Teri smacks herself in the head* I don't want to get married! Why am I taking this stupid test? I already know I'm not marriage material!

How do I know I'm not marriage material? Well first of all, what's one of the main things that people say about marriage? Anyone? Anyone? Marriage is all about ________________ . (Hint: it starts with a "c" ~ I call it the C-Word) I have no interest in that word (and I'm fairly sure it has no interest in me, either!) My ex husband used it as a tool of manipulation. Many people do use it that way. I realize that the true meaning of the word is not a bad thing. It's the way people use it to get what they want that has made it the C-Word. Secondly, I think similar life goals is extremely important if you're going to become maritally institutionalized and the person does not exist who has similar goals to mine. Unfortunately, we often just feel we can persuade that other person to come around to our way of thinking (this is on both sides of the sexes) ~ thereby achieving common goals. OR, we present the person we think the other person wants, even though that is not who we are. I think that's called DECEPTION (the D-Word ~ shall we go through the whole alphabet? By the way, the F-Word is "fine!" ~ hehe).

Here's how I think the Marriage Material quiz should go:

1. Do you use the C-Word a lot?

2. Are you looking for someone to "complete" you?

If you answered YES to either of the above questions, then you are not ready. Hee hee.

Seriously, I was thinking this weekend. (Yes, AGAIN!) If people would stop looking to others to be their relief or their help ~ and by this I mean in the sense of needing someone to "call my own" or needing someone to help you accomplish your financial goals (this includes tax breaks, the general success of being a homeowner, etc) or needing someone to help you raise the babies ~ we'd have many more happy relationships. Think of how often you hear the plaintive cry, "Why aren't you THERE for me?!!"

I'm here to tell you that marriage is not a solution to any of those things. As a married person, you can be more lonely and more financially destitute and more alone in your struggles than anyone in the world. I'm hard pressed to really know any good reasons to get married, but I sure know that those aren't them.

"If you want to exchange the admiration of many for the criticism of one, then go ahead and get married." ~ Kate Hepburn


Susiebadoozie said...

love the end quote...
so are you speaking of CONTROL?????

is that what you may be referring to here?

been there done that. and i was guilty of it too. and i can admit what i did,. thats what i hate, is with my divorces, both of them had serious control issues. and when i DARED to defend my boundaries, or say NO, i was called names. just recently in fact. #2, was here getting some of his stuff, we had two coolers for camping, not sure who bought them, probably me, him who cares. they were OURS. well he already took one of them when he left. and he was proceeding to take the other one, when i intervened, and said, no, you are not taking that you already took the other one, to which he called me a "controller". see? i stuck up for myself, and i got called a name. nice huh. there won't be anymore of those men in my life, trust me.

let me say a word of warning to anyone reading this who either is thinking of getting married or is married, if the person says to you "if you love me you will do this, or stop doing that", RUN FOR YOUR FREAKING LIFE.

cathouse teri said...

Susie is right! RUN!

Control is not the EXACT word, but on the right track.

Here's something cute. After I left my ex, he would often call and try to get me to come back. In one conversation he told me that I have just been a thorn in his side since he knew me! (Yes, what a way to woo a woman.) He said that no matter what he tried to do, I was there to foil his plans! I was like a WILD CARD! I replied, "A wild card, eh? Wow, I think that's the nicest thing you've ever called me!"

Becka said...

ok kids, knowing teri as i do (she's a yaya!...and i just luv her....and i miss her!!) i can tell u the C-word she speaks of is.....**drum roll**......

which i should be committed for doing!! LMAO

i know i know...i'm workin on it....slow but sure. ;)

cathouse teri said...

LOL... gotta love that Becka!

Again, on the right track, but not quite it. :)

Becka said...

ok i cheated.... the real answer is......
"compromise" ..... but here's my rebuttal to that.....

If you and Thor were going to have sex, and he wanted say missionary style, and u wanted it doggy style...someone would HAVE to compromise.... for round one anyway!!


Redneck Nerdboy! said...

I loved this post.

I won't say anymore, but I loved it!