Why do we take them? Are we trying to know ourselves via a women's magazine? And does it work? I'd love to hear from y'all on the subject.
Today, I received an email asking me to "click here" to find out whether or not I'm marriage material. I thought it would be fun to take the test and see how it lays that out. I quit on the third question. The first was regarding whether or not you think you are able to be monogamous. The second was asking what is most important to you in a relationship (great sex, similar life goals and um.... I don't remember the other choice). Now why was it that I couldn't choose both A and B? Anyway, question three was "Why do you want to get married?" Huh? *Teri smacks herself in the head* I don't want to get married! Why am I taking this stupid test? I already know I'm not marriage material!
How do I know I'm not marriage material? Well first of all, what's one of the main things that people say about marriage? Anyone? Anyone? Marriage is all about ________________ . (Hint: it starts with a "c" ~ I call it the C-Word) I have no interest in that word (and I'm fairly sure it has no interest in me, either!) My ex husband used it as a tool of manipulation. Many people do use it that way. I realize that the true meaning of the word is not a bad thing. It's the way people use it to get what they want that has made it the C-Word. Secondly, I think similar life goals is extremely important if you're going to become maritally institutionalized and the person does not exist who has similar goals to mine. Unfortunately, we often just feel we can persuade that other person to come around to our way of thinking (this is on both sides of the sexes) ~ thereby achieving common goals. OR, we present the person we think the other person wants, even though that is not who we are. I think that's called DECEPTION (the D-Word ~ shall we go through the whole alphabet? By the way, the F-Word is "fine!" ~ hehe).
Here's how I think the Marriage Material quiz should go:
1. Do you use the C-Word a lot?
2. Are you looking for someone to "complete" you?
If you answered YES to either of the above questions, then you are not ready. Hee hee.
Seriously, I was thinking this weekend. (Yes, AGAIN!) If people would stop looking to others to be their relief or their help ~ and by this I mean in the sense of needing someone to "call my own" or needing someone to help you accomplish your financial goals (this includes tax breaks, the general success of being a homeowner, etc) or needing someone to help you raise the babies ~ we'd have many more happy relationships. Think of how often you hear the plaintive cry, "Why aren't you THERE for me?!!"
I'm here to tell you that marriage is not a solution to any of those things. As a married person, you can be more lonely and more financially destitute and more alone in your struggles than anyone in the world. I'm hard pressed to really know any good reasons to get married, but I sure know that those aren't them.
"If you want to exchange the admiration of many for the criticism of one, then go ahead and get married." ~ Kate Hepburn
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