Skeleton Woman Defined

The story expresses the way that a man might find a “good catch” and get all caught up in thinking how this one will change his life! He’s now found the good thing he’s been waiting for. But it doesn’t take long to discover that what he thought was beautiful and promised great benefits for him might be ugly and scary deep down. A man always stumbles onto a woman’s deep darknesses at some point. And it usually scares the shit out of him! He will likely run. But really, when he runs to what he thinks is safety, he is still confronted with the problem that, in order to have the sweet things in life with a companion, he must see the tangled mess in a softer light. His tender untangling will find a great reward.

This is what I learned from a wonderful story-teller in her book. Her explanation is much better said and encompasses much more. I find this book to be an essential bible for the spiritual health and growth of the wild woman. Anyone who does not have a copy, let me know and I will PROMPTLY be sure you get one!

"A person who has untangled Skeleton Woman knows patience, knows better how to wait. He is not shocked or afraid of spareness. He is not overwhelmed by fruition. His needs to attain, to 'have right now,' are transformed into a finer craft of finding all facets of relationship, observing how cycles of relationship work together. He is not afraid to relate to the beauty of fierceness, the beauty of the unknown, the beauty of the not-beautiful. And in learning and working at all these, he becomes the quintessential wild-lover." (pp.158-159) ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes ~ Women Who Run with the Wolves


BBC said...

Ouch, you of all people don't like the hon? I call all women hon, honey is saved for a mate.

What a woman is in her brain doesn't bother me at all, I'm much more willing to sit and talk about it with them than they are.

I take it that you relate to that book, and while I don't want to discredit that, it doesn't make her an expert because women vary so much.

Patience I have learned, I'm much better at it than they are. Well, any that I've met in the last ten years anyway.

"he becomes the quintessential wild-lover."

Ah !! The best sex is a spiritual thing between two very spiritual people. I'm not clear what you mean by wild, but it's the best you can find.

Have you read this old post of mine about sex?
I tried to make that into a link but couldn't get it to work. Sorry, you can copy/paste it though.

Dare I say...... Hugs???

Brillig said...

I can tell you that my sweet husband has found himself in a situation of detangling his Skeleton Woman many times, poor guy. But everything in our relationship is better and happier when he does.

Very, very interesting stuff!

cathouse teri said...

Hugs are always welcome. I am not usually comfortable with endearments from men unless I am intimately involved with them.

It's tricky business, sometimes a man can call me hon and I won't sense condescension.

When you did it, it came across that way to me. Probably best to avoid it.

Regarding the various degrees of women, this small story and/or article were not meant to be the exhaustive study on the species nor on the subject of lovemaking, be it wild or not.

It's just a little piece to enjoy.

cathouse teri said...

Kitty Brill: You snuck in there! Yes, the man who wants the wild woman (and how that is defined is certainly subjective, but I mean it in a certain way) must toe the line.

Brillig said...

(Of course, it should be noted that I have to detangle his skeletons too sometimes... It requires love, patience, and effort for both parties!)

cathouse teri said...

Of course many things should be noted about the relationship between men and women.

When a man chooses to untangle a woman, it is not the end of things. It's not like she just gets to lie there in a heap while he figures her out. If you note, she did have to sing to the beat of his heart. There is always work to be done.

BBC said...


I don't want a wild woman.

I want a loving woman and spiritual woman.

Just saying.

cathouse teri said...

bbc: You're misinterpreting the word "wild."

Jami said...

BBC - wildness, like happiness (and most other things in the world), is not a binary operation. There are endless ranges, shades of gray, in most things. It is not true to say that if someone is not happy, then they are sad. Wildness (or freedom or independence or self-love or self-confidence) is a good thing and the opposite end of its spectrum is not subservience; it's simply not wildness.

cathouse teri said...

Well said, Purrty.

Anonymous said...

I think people are confused about the wild woman, I think you are refering to the woman being wild in her brain. not necessarily on outward appearance. I am a wild woman in my brain, and I scare men

Anonymous said...

bbc, I sure hope you are spiritual and loving since that is what you want in a mate. No one is saying the person who wrote the book is an expert, she is shedding a good perspective on something,

BBC said...

Ba Doozie .... I'm just guessing of course, but I'm guessing that her current favorite author would understand me much better than Teri does.

And that she understands spiritual sex.

And it's okay, it's a journey.

cathouse teri said...

Oh bbc! I hope I can be like you when I grow up and understand spiritual things and all that jazz! Oh and if I only had a brain!