Eight Random/Idiotic Facts About Me Me Me:
Un) I’m obsessed with pens. So much so that, when I see someone writing with what looks like a smooth writing instrument, I want to snatch it out of their hands! I hate pencils and will only write with a pencil under great duress. I will write with a strawberry before I will write with a pencil!
Deux) If my bra and panties don’t match, I am quite put off. This is why I usually only buy white or black. Recently, I was forced to buy several colors because my favorite brand is now discontinued. (This always happens to me.) So you can now see why I’ve been put off a lot lately. It really pisses me off, too, that when I buy a bra from Victoria’s Secret, they rarely have panties to match. I fuckin’ hate that. It should be against the law. They have stupid panties anyway.
Trois) I hate chewing gum. If you ever see me chewing gum, it is probably because it’s some kind of bubble gum that I can’t resist putting in my mouth, but I almost immediately remove it because I hate how gum feels after it’s begun being chewed. And I think people can look really, really stupid if they are chewing gum and have been guilty of actually judging people based on that fact alone. Obviously, I don’t judge everyone that way, because almost every single person I know and love chews gum and offers it to me constantly and have never figured out that I hate gum, even though I always say “no” and sometimes even add, “I don’t chew gum.” Hehehe. I can relate to this, though. Because my sister has plainly stated that she hates coffee for years, but we still offer it to her.
Quatre) Even though I am the epitome of femininity in my style, I don’t wear earrings. In fact, I own a very small amount of jewelry. And what I do own is good jewelry. I am normally only wearing one bracelet and that’s it. A few men have purchased jewelry for me, one of them an engagement ring. He asked what I wanted and I said I didn’t care, as long as it was real and he picked it out. A male friend of mine once asked if I thought a woman would mind if, instead of a genuine tiny diamond, he bought her a very large and dazzling cz. I replied, “I don’t know, would you rather have a dazzling, fake woman or a simple, genuine one?”
Cinq) I wear my fingernails very, very short, with clear polish. I started doing this when I had small babies at home and found myself accidentally scratching them when changing their diapers. When they got older, I tried to start wearing longer nails again, but everyone I knew kept having babies, and so I’ve kept them short. Now I keep them short because when I give my boyfriend backrubs, I like to not give him puncture wounds in his flesh! (And my toenails are ALWAYS painted pink.)
Six) I would pay ten dollars per gallon for gas if they would pump it for me at the station.
Sept) You will never hear me say that I’m on a diet.
Huit) I don’t believe in the word, “please.” If you do see/hear me use it, it’s usually just for dramatic effect.
Speaking of babies…
A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankrolls smaller, homes happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for.