I'm Not Impressed with Jessica Alba

I just read about twenty quotes of hers. She's almost empty headed. Very sweet girl, though. And I'm sure she's tons of fun. PLUS, she's hotter than fuckin hot. (God, I hate that term hot.) So I read some things about her at imdb.com. I always segue to different actors in there. I was originally looking to see who that guy is starring with Bruce in the new Die Hard movie. Then I followed to his next movie and she was in it, etcetera. I think she's a real beauty. Just yum yum yummy. Loved watching her in "Honey." Not a great actress. In fact, less than not great. But I appreciate her anyway. I mean, showbiz ain't easy. But I'm still not impressed. (Well clearly she's made some impression on me, for me to spend this many words on her.. ya know, I'm just thinking out loud.)

But you know what's dumb? How in her list of accomplishments, there is a plethora of which number of hottest/sexiest/baberooest she is on this list or that list or whatever the fuck list. How is that an accomplishment? Oh wait. I know. Because even as a girl, she shunned her family's meal offerings because she didn't want to be fat. I guess they were a bunch of fatties. She was anorexic for a bit. All that makes for a girl who is suited for the camera! Yay for the shallow beauties of the world!

All kidding aside, I am positive that she is the sweetest thing in the universe. Her smile lights up the entire screen. You can't help but stare at her. It is my hope that somehow she will find some depth. I have no idea how, in the biz that she's in. If she becomes friends with Salma, maybe. Yeah.. that's it.. Salma can make Jack's movie and Jessica can star in it! She'd be a changed woman after that.

Wait till you hear what I have to say about M. Night Shay... oh hell, I gotta look that up now... Shyamalan!


ZoeyBella said...

Actually, Ms. Alba backs up her empty headed antics with a healthy dose of "diva" attitude. She really thinks she's better than everyone else.

When I was out in Vancouver last fall, she was working on Fantastic Four part II and I heard all the horror stories about how Ms. Alba was rude to not only crew members, but also fans.

As far as M. Knight Multi-syllabic-last-lame-alan, I can't wait to hear what you have to say.

Anonymous said...

the only way to achieve depth if you're like her is to go through some really hard times

Gunfighter said...

Alba san is a pretty girl... that is if you like girls bnuilt like butter knives (shudder).